September 2009


Wasn’t there a song by that title?

I’ve had such a great weekend; great weather, great things at the sanctuary, a meal at a great restaurant called Great Sage…

And I’m feeling an odd kind of built-up frustration.

I’m just so tired of crappy communication. I’m tired of things going to shit at work because people aren’t paying enough attention, or aren’t bothering to read emails, or when they do read emails they aren’t actually reading them, if you know what I mean.

It’s common in my personal life too though. The friends who communicate in such a way that it just makes it obvious that they weren’t really listening/reading what I was saying. They were maybe reading my email while having a conversation with someone else, or maybe they were talking to me while reading an email from someone else. (Okay, that’s not really true, because mostly when I talk to someone I’m at the sanctuary, and we’re all face to face with no computers in sight.) I really really hope that no one is *shudder* texting and driving, not reading texts/emails, and not writing them themselves. I ride alongside people like that, or drive behind people like that, and you can always tell. There is no such thing a a good enough driver to both drive and read/text. There just isn’t. I don’t care who you are and how awesome you think you are at “multi-tasking”, you are not good enough, and you are putting everyone around you in danger.

Okay, sorry about that side rant, or the rant within a rant.

I even feel like ranting about the fact that I’m ranting about this. Why does it get to me, suddenly, right now, when my weekend has been so fantastic, and I’m actually in a great mood, if I manage to ignore the bubbling seething frustration that’s percolating under the surface?

Clearly I need a long bike ride.

And as much as I want to cry at the knowledge that tomorrow is Monday and I have 5 more days until I get to have *my* life again, there is a certain amount of relief in knowing that because tomorrow is Monday, I’ll be pedaling these frustrations right out of me.

But it will come back. People will still suck at communication, and it will continue to bother me.

Not that I don’t fail in exactly the same way sometimes. And in different ways. After all, what bothers us the most in others are the traits we like the least in ourselves. Or something like that.

For instance, I neglected to share a rather momentous event in my life. A little feral kitten came to live with me 3 weeks ago. He hasn’t been hard to socialize, so easy in fact I couldn’t help but to doubt whether he had actually been feral. (I did see a picture of where he was rescued from…no doubt after seeing that picture that he had been a feral kitten! Plus it took them 3 days to trap him.) I’m pretty sure that he’ll play the part of the temporary disappearing cat if I ever have company, but that’s normal cat behavior, if I use Tempest as a baseline.

Anyway, here’s the funny looking little darling, Tristan:
tristan, in the sun

On the bike, head nods are an important communication tool. When people are across several lanes of traffic and you need your hands on the bars, a head nod is a greeting. It has variations. The acknowledgment and return greeting nod. The hey how are you nod. And, to drivers of cars, there are the I’m here nod and the thanks for letting me in nod.

I find myself using nods with coworkers though, and that startles me even though I do it automatically. That’s just a plain greeting nod.

I thought about this on the way home from the grocery store yesterday, because as I approached the checkout lanes, I caught the eye of one of the employees and he gave me a come on over nod. I smiled and gave an acknowledgment nod.

Leaving the grocery store, waiting for traffic to clear to make a left turn, I caught the eye of a pedestrian approaching the street I was on. I gave him a go ahead and cross, I see you and acknowledge your right of way nod, and he gave me a hey thanks nod in return.

Did I always communicate with nods? I don’t know. I don’t remember making such good use of them in the past.

I like the language of nods. I don’t always feel like speaking, and it’s nice to know that I can communicate just as well, silently.