(This was written this morning, a couple hours after I’d gotten to work. The mood dissipated before my Friday appointment, but I found my venting of my mood amusing, so I’m posting it even though it is long gone!)

I am cranky today. Unreservedly cranky. When you feel like what is inside you is going to shiver and jump the boundaries of your skin, that is what life feels like today.

The sound of certain voices of my fellow office inmates is like nails on a chalkboard, nails raking over exposed oversensitive nerves. How long can the nails on chalkboard metaphor retain meaning, I wonder, now that chalkboards are mostly a relic of the past?

I drove today. It is Friday. My Friday appointment constrains and frees me. In some ways it is (or was) a secret relief, to NOT ride my bike on Fridays. Things are quicker. Or maybe it was only a secret relief in the months and weeks when Thursday’s ride wrung out the last drops of get up and go from my muscles. Or felt like it anyway.

I’m not really feeling either of those things anymore. It was with frustrated disappointment that I realized I couldn’t ride my bike to work today. It was with annoyance I found myself part of the apartness that is the metal and glass stream of commuter consciousness.

I’m a nicer less cranky person when I ride. It is for the better for those who share space with me that I ride.

It is time to find a way to end the Friday appointments.

I think I’m ready, on several levels.