Interesting video, by Dan Gilbert, about Why are we happy? Why aren’t we happy?
He’s talking about what he calls “synthetic happiness” versus “natural happiness”.
I found it fascinating, and it certainly taught me a few things!
It is about 21 minutes long, and definitely worth it!
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October 27, 2008 at 10:47 am
Great video, Deb. Thanks for recommending it. It’s so interesting to think that our brain’s evolution is what causes us to feel let down if something doesn’t go as we had imagined. But then a healthy brain is quick to make adjustments. Watching the video also made me think about my marriage. We had to pick one person and couldn’t have a do-over, so we do our best with preferring the one we got. That’s what makes it work. In our case, if we felt like we could get out of it, we wouldn’t be as happy.
October 27, 2008 at 9:04 pm
I’m glad you enjoyed it! I think your example with your marriage is a great example, and I think that it also highlights why serial monogamy is so common. It is like the painting! I don’t think all marriages should be stuck out, but I do think (based on my vast lack of personal experience! lol.) that we (as a society) have ended up with pretty unrealistic expectations for relationships, and maybe for much in our lives. And so we’re set up for dissatisfaction.
In my own life, my frequent moves play into this. I’m not all that happy with where I’m living, but if I didn’t always think that my next move was a matter of months away, if I was of the mindset that this was it, would I work harder at growing those roots? I think I would.
Lots to think about, anyway! Sounds like you’ve found a way to find happiness in your marriage, despite being realistic about some of the challenges you face.