My coworkers are driving me bananas. In fact one coworker, who I sort of affectionately refer to as “PB” or “Player Boy,” dropped off a printed email that talked about where that phrase came from and then listed a whole bunch of facts about bananas. It was a pro-banana email. I read it, and he stopped back to see what I thought. I was like “what is there to think about this?” But no, he insisted on getting my feedback. I told him there wasn’t much controversial about B6 and potassium. And he wouldn’t let me get away with that, so finally I said, “I think bananas are a wonderful fruit, and you should feel good about yourself for eating them.” And he was finally satisfied.

He does this a lot. I don’t understand how I came to hold this role in his life, but I’m frankly sick of it.

I’m also a sort of lead on a project, a “documentation” project, and he’s one of the two people I’m “leading.” And he’s a good worker in the sense that he’s like a wind-up doll. Point him in the right direction and he trucks along. He won’t stop to think or to ask questions, so you have to catch him and give him feedback in case there are adjustments that need to be made. And don’t think that if you say “for example, in situations like such and such, you should do such and such” that he’ll catch any other than that one you explicitly talked about in the example. Nope. You have to spell it out.

My other “team member” takes direction about half the time, the other half the time she ignores you, misunderstands, or flat out refuses based on not much other than an unsubstantiated belief that she’s right. And, we’re talking in a really train-wreck kind of way. Such as, when demoing project A, she was really certain that it was not at all necessary to actually show the website for project A and flat out refused to do it.

::sigh::

On top of that, I’ve been feeling a lot of internal pressure. Things I don’t really want to talk about, I guess, but which will probably mean I’ve got a crying session coming up in therapy. Things that suck, things that set me back on my old thought patterns. But serious things, for which I had at least 50% responsibility, and which could have ended really badly. I have not equipped myself with any way of dealing with that, yet. Which is why I suppose it is good I’m still in therapy. ‘Cause as good as things have been, I’ve not had many bumps in the road the past few months.

The last photography class was tonight, and that somehow added to the whole mix. It was somehow painful to hear him rave so strongly about other people’s pictures, and feel like mine were mediocre. (accurate or not, this is what I took away from the experience)

AND…big gripe here. He said from the start that he wanted us to bring in 5 pictures every week. Not 6 or 9 or 12. 5. We go through everyone’s pictures, you see. And tonight there was only one other person who brought in 5 pictures. We had 7, 9, 12, and one person had 15.

AND there is this one guy who just can’t seem to get the concept of RAW vs jpg to save his life. We spent 30 minutes trying to explain it to him. Fine, right, it can be confusing, I guess. But we had the same discussion with him last week.

All these little pieces of sand are just irritating me and adding to the pressure cooker that I’m starting to feel like.

Anyway, I hated all the pictures I took this weekend, so Tempest consented to a photo shoot shortly before I had to go to class. I love my girl.

tempest and her toy

tempest playing

tempest looking towards light

The next pic is the same as above, but cropped and in b&w. Colors were a little funky on the one above, sorry!

tempest looking towards light, cropped and bw

tempest looking to the side

(wish I’d put this one in b&w as well)

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