I don’t get sick days at my current job, which is annoying, but I do get other schedule perks of a sort, so it isn’t all bad. Calling in sick isn’t really a non-option, it is just that I have to either make up the time or take vacation if I do call in sick. So it isn’t something I do unless absolutely necessary.

Luckily I don’t get sick often, so this hasn’t been an issue.

But calling in sick makes me think of Utah Phillips and a song/story he has about calling in well. This also reminds me of Buddy Wakefield talking about how we need to learn to live for a living. These things stick in my mind. I usually feel that my weeks are things I get through to get to the all-too-short weekends. I spend Sundays (or whatever day before going back to work) feeling a sort of blues, a state of dread, because I really dislike my job. I think I’d like the overall career if I had a job with a better overall situation.

Yes, this is within my control to change.

And yes, I think right now I’m a bit tired of change. And yes, this is my fault.

These are the cards I’m playing right now though. I am so drawn to the idea of calling in well, and going off to live for a living. Isn’t that what we all want to do? I know that before society was this thing that it is today, people didn’t have more options, they had less. Survival was the top priority, and when survival is difficult there isn’t room for things like following dreams and finding yourself and taking chances.

But survival isn’t hard for me in this society, at least not with my current job. Maybe it would be harder if I was following my dream. Certainly I wouldn’t be able to afford the mortgage I have right now. That’s my biggest expense, so superficially that seems easy enough to change. Though I’d have to move from this area altogether, ’cause it ain’t cheap here.

Still, there is something to be said for simplification, eliminating extraneous expenses so that we can afford to have the jobs we like, and live for a living, as opposed to chasing a paycheck that twists things inside of us to achieve. I’ve been on the other side, I’ve lived on $8 of food per week, because that was all I could afford at the time. I’ve charted out errands so that I conserved gas, not because of environmental issues, but because even back then when gas was often hovering around $1/gallon, I could hardly afford my weekly gas bills and couldn’t afford to be wasteful of even a quarter of a gallon. I’ve lived that. It isn’t fun, and it doesn’t leave room for anything, and it is filled with worry and what-ifs.

I don’t want to go back to that. It seems like there should be something between that and where I’m at right now, something a bit more like the enjoyment my parents have in their busy retirement life instead of the unfulfilling working life I have right now.

Do we put our dreams on hold until after retirement (and hope our health holds out long enough for us to enjoy ourselves, but not so long we run out of retirement funds?) or do we find a way to live them now?

Well, I know what answer I want, but I’m stumped on how to achieve it.

norman sunbathing at ps

Three things for Saturday:

  1. A great day, overall – sanctuary, home depot, the bookcase assembly, the fake salmon that was a lot less disturbing than it looked…
  2. Talking about music…
  3. Finding Sheese at Mom’s (both the spreadable and the block) and having a Sheese taste test with Cheesely (Sheese wins!), and being reminded that Mom’s kicks major ass.

Three things for Sunday:

  1. Leftover thanksgiving food.
  2. Not getting lost dropping off Rich in Chinatown and not getting lost finding my way back to NY Ave afterwards. (It was easy, but that doesn’t mean I won’t get lost!)
  3. Curling up with Tempest reading.