It is so difficult to show things like Big Hills in pictures and have it accurately portray their Biggness. But I have tried my best.

the long view

You can sort of see the way the world looks like it is dropping off on the other side of the cross street. The rest of the pictures were taken from about that point, so I could try to get a view of the slope of the hill…

a small ways down the hill

Take note of the red car you see, because when I zoom in later, I zoom right up to that car, so it is all that distance that will be cut off, essentially.

looking back up the hill, for perspective

zoomed in a little

It is still hard to see, but you can see a small silver car just about to start up the hill coming towards us. Most of that car will disappear as it goes up the hill, just as those itty bitty people have mostly disappeared. I know, the picture really is too small to see all that. That’s a really steep portion of the hill, and then it continues for quite a while, still fairly steep, to the top. Where there is only a short reprieve, after which a bit more of a hill, and then comes real relief.

I’m not kidding though when I say I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to ride up it. It was seriously that difficult to get even one tenth of the way up it, and even taking into account my relative lack of biking strength at the moment, it is just that big of a hill.

But that’s okay, it will be on my way home.

When I got back from my picture taking excursion to The Big Hill, I realized it was too late to actually hop on the bike, as I originally planned, and go for a bike ride. I’d walked for 90 minutes, between going to the library and going to take the pictures! This is the crazy cool thing about doing things on a bike or on foot. Especially on bike, I think. Hell yeah things usually take longer, but they just don’t feel like they take longer. 20 minutes in my car feels much longer than that. Every moment is either stressful or boring, the only part I really enjoy is my music. I don’t hate driving, but it just isn’t that fun either.

On the bike, though, it is fun. Yeah, it will take me 3 times as long to get to work, but it isn’t going to feel like it. It is going to be fun time, not stress time. I can’t wait.

I got back from my walk and looked at my phone. No phone call. Normally this would be, well, normal. I don’t get calls often, ‘cept from the parents, and that just once a week on a normal week. But I was expecting, or at least hoping, for a call from my Bike Shop Boy. We’re still in the process of specing out the components on this bike I’m ordering for my commuting. It will be able to haul me and Stuff. Or rather I will be able to haul Stuff on it. Front racks, rear racks, fenders…if I can handle it, it can handle it. It is a beast, really. It is beautiful. Or it will be, when I finally get it.

I’d gotten an idea in my head early last week. I blame this on my Bike Shop Boy, in his delay in getting back to me. I’d first gone to the shop on July 3, a Thursday, and he’d promised to email with an initial go at the specs in “a couple days”. It was a couple days after those “couple days” that I finally heard from him, and by then I’d started reading obsessively.

I’d gotten downtube shifters in my head.

I couldn’t let them go.

I read what people said, some positive, some scornful, some not understanding, some as if they were the lost holy grail. Suffice to say, they were the only choice for shifters about 30 years ago, and now they’re pretty seldomly seen. Now there are integrated brake and shifters, sometimes called brifters, and I’d guess that most see those as where the evolution of brakes and shifters were always heading. So downtube shifters are likely seen by most as a step back at least 20 years.

But, you know, my truck is a manual shift. And I like it like that. My camera is manual, even if it doesn’t have to be entirely so. I usually have it on aperture priority, which is say, one third manual. (I use autofocus, after all.)

Anyway, perhaps it is just my quirky personality that likes things more manual, more directly controllable by moi. I also like how clean they look.

And I sort of felt like the Bike Shop Boy was going to be shaking his head and rolling his eyes at this clueless bike noob who was spending money just to get started in bike commuting, and wanted downtube shifters. I mean, really, right?

But I tried downtube shifters (annabelle, that 22 year old red beauty, has them!) and I loved them.

So the phone finally rings tonight, and it is indeed Bike Shop Boy. He identifies himself, makes the starting-conversation noises. And then:

“I just want to tell you that you are awesome for going with downtube shifters.”

I finally have a bike to ride. Not the bike that I’ll commute on, that won’t be for another couple weeks. But a bike to ride on is finally part of my life again.

I have been doing so much research in preparation to begin bike commuting that not having a bike to ride on at all has been aggravating. Partially because reading about biking made me want to get out and do it. And also because I need to get conditioned, at least to a point, to be able to handle the almost 30 miles of riding I’ll be doing daily once I’m bike commuting.

There are other reasons to bike, of course. Pure enjoyment, seeing parts of the world that I have never had a chance to notice before.

Last night, for instance, I rode about 3 or 4 miles away, and then back. I was amazed, it was like entering a new world. I saw that there are community gardens the equivalent of 2 blocks away. That close! And I’d had absolutely no idea even though I have an intense interest in these things. It is right next door to the off leash dog park I’d noticed a couple months ago.

It isn’t a street I’ve driven more than a handful of times, is a partial reason for my ignorance, but I think it is typical the way these things are obscured from us when we speed by enclosed in metal and glass.

And wouldn’t you know, not more than another quarter mile further were yet more community gardens. These stretched for at least a mile along the nearby bike path. It was such a nice use of the land, it gave me a really good feeling about the community as a whole. And as I rode further, seeing a lush and beautiful area along a small creek, I saw signs explaining the wetlands that had been planted there for environmental and ecological reasons.

Again, the warm fuzzy feeling.

This path was pretty flat, having once been a rail road line, which is why I was able to ride a fair distance for a first bike ride in years. I got a really large reality check on my way home after turning off the trail and onto the road home.

Giant Hill.

Really really giant.

I knew as I’d gone down it that it was going to be quite something to come back up. I got maybe a tenth of the way up before I had to walk it. I didn’t mind, though my legs protested even walking up it. I feel no shame in walking a hill like that (or any hill to be honest) - what shame can there be in getting anywhere by my own steam?

So I made it up the hill, got back on my bike, and got back on the road. And a few minutes later I was home.

This hill, the giant monster hill, is something I’ll have to tackle every day coming home from work, unless I can find a way around it. I imagine it will take me months and a good set of granny gears to be able to ride it all the way up.

I don’t think I’ll mind.

annabelle

It was the first tomato plant I’d planted this year, and though it looked like it was doing well at first, it ended up dropping all of its flowers. No pests that I could see, no obvious disease on the leaves or anything like that. I don’t know much about gardening, so I still don’t know much of what was going wrong with it.

I gave up on it producing any tomatoes. I trimmed some of the old and weary looking parts of the plant.

And a couple days ago I saw the first little tomato on it. Was it the trimming? Was it something else, nothing to do with me? Was it the conditions were finally just right for it?

I will likely never know, but I’m so pleased to see those four little tomatoes!

A lot of people go to BBQ’s or potlucks for the 4th, and likely watch some fireworks as well. Me, I just have to be different!

It was Day 2 of my “staycation” and I was pretty productive, in that laid back way that is so nice. I’d had a few things I wanted to get done, and repainting my living room wall was one of them. Somehow doing it in the middle of four days off didn’t seem intrusive, the way it would on one of my two days off in a normal weekend.

Last year, soon after I moved in, I painted a living room wall a sort of orange color. It was okay, I liked it in some ways, especially in natural light, but in artificial light it looked a bit more..well, orange, than I really wanted. It was worth trying at any rate! But I was ready for something different.

I debated a little, and finally went with green.

Midway through the project:

“Sage Sweater” it is called. What a sweater has to do with the color description, I don’t think I’ll ever understand. Sage isn’t a bad description, though it is lighter than I’d think of sage. It can look a little bit bluer sometimes, or a little bit duskier others. So far I’ve liked it under all lighting.

The mood of a place can be affected so much by the colors in it. This was really obvious to me after making this switch. There is just something more restful about the green. Soothing.

It is more of a sanctuary, I guess. A place of green and growing things. I was drawn to the green, perhaps influenced by my gardening this year, and also in hopes that it would be a cheerful reminder of the upcoming spring in the dead of winter.

I hate the dead of winter. A reminder of spring will be most welcome!

I’m taking Thursday off work, giving me a 4 day weekend. I have no plans, really, other than just not going to work.

It is likely a sign of slight burn out that I don’t care what I do, as long as I’m not at work. 4 days sounds luxurious. 4 days without specific plans and constant motion sounds like heaven. Usually I only take time off for travel or conferences, but right now I just need to chill. To relax. I suppose this is what is referred to as a “staycation” but it really just feels like sanity.

Which isn’t to say I won’t try to get some stuff done, small projects and adventures. But I’ll likely take some lovely naps as well.

Life is change. We know that, but we don’t always feel it.

I’ve been feeling it lately. Raindrops on my life’s pond. I’m watching their ripples with awe, and happiness.

I’m going to become a bike commuter.

This shocks me, it was never in my head before in my life, but it is large and sparkling now. I feel like a little kid unwrapping the best and most perfectly unexpected gift. My bike is in the shop getting a tune up. I’ve been arming myself with maps and obsessively reading blog posts, collecting bike blogs. I know I’ll need to get a commuter bike, my road bike won’t really cut it for commuting. I am excited about the possibilities.

It is like suddenly seeing a whole new world. A world that was always there, waiting for me to see clearly.

a pepper was born…

There really is something almost magical about growing your own food. It has even changed how I feel about the weather. I am the kind of person who craves sunlight, and any clouds on the forecast, let alone rain, give me a sense of dread. At least they used to.

Now, knowing they’re helping my garden grow, I look forward to it. I appreciate living in a climate where I don’t need to water my plants often, where I can let nature take care of that for me. At least in years like the current one, where we’ve been getting our fair share of moisture.

It is raining right now. I poked my head out the door when it started to make sure, and smiled.

Grow cucumbers, grow!

It is funny, Sorrow had tagged me for a quote meme, and I knew I’d use at least one ani quote…to be honest, I could have used a hundred, her lyrics just resonate that much with me. But I chose only one, and it isn’t one of the ones that sprung immediately to mind.

And somehow, having chosen it, it has been on my mind a lot the past few days. I keep looking around my life, and that phrase is everywhere, “if you don’t live what you sing about, your mirror is gonna bite.”

I think that this is one reason why certain things are so easy for me. Go vegetarian? No problem. Go vegan? No problem. Once I see what I need to do, it is more uncomfortable to me to go against that than to make whatever changes. It is a driving need to live what I sing about, I guess.

And yeah, there are always limitations.

My commute, I thought was one of them.

I’m rethinking that.

I started reading some blogs (being bored at work has been one of the catalysts for some big life changes!) about various issues in the DC metro area. Started with DCist, of course, and then it expanded. I found myself reading some cycling blogs.

“What am I doing reading these?” I asked myself. I haven’t used my bike in 3 years, it hurt…everywhere…when I did ride it, and my nose ran constantly. But I was bored at work, so I kept reading. And sure enough, my imagination caught fire. Someone commuting to work, year round, from a fair distance away. He has a commute that takes him one hour each way, and that’s about what I expect it would take me as well. He has commuted in all kinds of weather, he’s done this for 2 years now.

There was something about reading the every day story of someone who is doing what I’ve been excusing myself from doing….something that makes me look in the mirror and face the fact that I’m not living what I’ve been singing about.

I have a lot of details to work on - my bike needs a tune-up, I might need a different bike altogether if I can’t figure out how to get comfortable on a road bike, and anyway I want a bike that will let me carry groceries too. I need to take a refresher course on street riding (signed up for June 28, actually), I need to scope out the route because while I’ve been thrilled to learn that about 10 of my 11.5 miles will be on an actual bike trail, there’s an ugly mile at the end that I have to take a hard look at.

And these current plans are essentially assuming I am moved to the new office location, which won’t happen until the fall. If I find out that I’m staying at my current location, I’ll have to research more. This is an idea that is sticking hard in my brain, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to let it go.

I’m breathless at the idea of being able to give up my car, at least for the week days. For now, the 30 miles each way to the sanctuary will be under an expectation of driving. As will the less often 70 mile trips to the other sanctuary.

It is a challenge to continue to align my life with my beliefs, but a challenge in the best way.

I put a desk in my dining room so that I would no longer use my dining room table as a desk. To make it work, the desk is right up against the window - not something I’ll ever complain about, as it looks out over my patio.

I’ve really been enjoying the new set up, and tonight I was super productive in my activism efforts.

And as I sit at my computer, about to close it up for the night, I realize that I’ve been distracted for a while in a way that somehow has added to my contentment as well as productivity - the moon, so clearly visible from my window now that I’m sitting at my desk right in front of it, has been drawing me.

Is it a full moon? I don’t even know, and it doesn’t really matter that much to me. I feel the power, I feel the connection.

Earth cycles.

My first pepper blossom emerged today.

Sorrow tagged me with a quote meme!

This is a fun meme; words are powerful, or at least they can be.

From a DC blog, featuring “overheard in DC” types of things, thus completely anonymous:

Guy: “There is a fine line between a ninja and a squirrel.”

From My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult:

Reality is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.

From ani difranco:

If you don’t live what you sing about, your mirror is gonna bite.

From Che Guevara:

Let me say, at the risk of sounding ridiculous, that the true revolutionary is guided by great feelings of love.

From Thich Nhat Hanh:

Peace is present right here and now, in ourselves and in everything we do and see. The question is whether or not we are in touch with it.

From Alice Walker:

The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than black people were made for whites or women for men.

And finally, I’ll tag:

• Heather
• Fighting Windmills
• Sandra

But it is a tag with no obligation. And likewise if anyone else is in the mood, jump on!